Thoughts Throughout the Summer

July 31st '08

Reigning Myself In

And so I find myself once more angry at the system for which I work instead of focusing on the task in hand and letting go of the things beyond my control. I get caught up in the mounting stress and frustration of those around me, and I allow it to infect me.
Again I need to real in my boundaries, return my focus to making my immediate surroundings conducive to calm, completing a day's work and allowing the dysfuntional dinosaur to go about it's business. It will do this whether I invest my emotions or not.
I need to return to my daily meditations, I need to exercise and I need to focus on what matters to me in my immediate world. It is going to take great strength of mind and character for me to continue on this path that I have set for myself, without destroying myself in the process.

August 3rd '08

Sadness & Relief

I saved a baby this week, it served to remind me why I do what I do.
The baby had suffered a broken collar bone when she fell from a bed where she had been left while the Mom went to do drugs. Usually the Mom would have been the person that I worked with in a never-ending attempt to turn one more life around - not this time.
That was the saddest baby I had seen in a long time. At one year old she wasn't yet crawling, she did not smile, she made no eye contact and did not respond to attempts to engage her. At least now I can let her out of my mind knowing that she is with a special needs foster Mom and will get the services she requires to address her apparent developmental problems. The Mom? She will continue to use until she's done and then hopefully, she will get help for herself. The help is there, she only has to ask.

August 11th '08

Inspiration People & Other Thoughts

I worked this week to keep myself calm at work, do my job and keep my mind out of politics. For the most part it worked.

On Friday I drove to Barstow for the start of year adjunct faculty meeting. It brought me back to a world that I love, that of teaching. I felt motivated and inspired by the time I left.

I went to the US Open Surfing competition the other weekend and got to meet Jessse Billauer a paraplegic surfer and the founder of the Life Rolls On charitable organization that works for disabled people and includes the "They Will Surf Again" days that enables paraplegics and other disabled people to surf with the help of professional surfers and lifeguards. Jesse is such a super guy and a great inspiration. He's right up there with Kyle Maynard and Christopher Reed. If you have never heard of either Jesse or Kyle I recommend you Google them. Trust me - after reading their stories your aches and pains will seem very minor.

I'm still working on getting my strength back - it's a lot slower than I anticipated but the challenge is good for me. I have a friend who's in training to climb Mt. Whitney - I'm her cheering team! We each climb our own mountains, what I have learned is - be grateful for the opportunity, and grab every opportunity that life offers.

August 23rd '08

The Fragility of Life

I have been pondering my future because I have an opportunity to take a job that I had not previously considered. It calls to me although I'm not sure why. I was given a new lease on life with my surgery earlier this year, and now I have a second opportunity to obtain another new lease on my working life. I think I will take it although many will be both saddened and frustrated by my choice, but I have learned that when opportunity reaches out, take it with both hands. It must have happened for a reason so who am I to ignore it?

Today I was reminded again how fragile life is. A friend of my partner's daughter lost her battle with heart disease - she was too young, it does not seem fair. Again I am reminded of the gift of life that I have, so I need to grasp it with both hands.

I have decided to try something that I have never done nor has ever appealed to me, and that is to go camping. I sold something on e-bay which covered my camping purchases, also purchased on e-bay. So we will go camping next month - should be interesting - watch this space!