Thoughts on the meaning of reality

“Reality is all-encompassing: the absolute nature is one. Although we may feel separate from the original uncreated reality - whether we call it 'God,' 'peak experience,' or 'enlightened mind' - through awareness we can contact this essential part of ourselves”. (Tarthang Tulku*)

When you are in the presence of a truly “awake” person, and you are also in a state of mindful “awakeness” then your mind will resonate with theirs to the point that you will feel “one” with them. Musicians understand this concept in music – when a group of musicians are playing as one, they lose sense of themselves and the notes they are playing, and they “become” the music. When you have a friend with whom you truly feel as “one with”, you might not have had contact with them for some time, maybe even years, but when you do finally get together the lapse of time evaporates and you are immediately “in tune” with each other.

I am beginning to understand that I have to be “at one with” myself if I wish to transcend the daily drudge into a place of spiritual peace or serenity. It is interesting that a favorite prayer in the world of those in addiction recovery, begins, “God, grant me the serenity…..” This assumes, again, that we have to look outside of ourselves for our serenity; we are told that we have the right to pursue happiness, as if that is outside of ourselves as well.

In my humble opinion this view of reality has been a curse upon our society, the reason why we lack so much peace of mind and why we are the biggest consumers of anti-depressant medication in the world. Please don’t misunderstand me there are many whose lives would be destroyed without medications so thank goodness for them, but the TV ads. push pills upon us as the “cure” for any feeling that we might have.

If we do not allow ourselves to be at peace with our feelings and accept them because they are just there, how can we ever transcend the daily drudge? Only through awareness of everything within us, and the understanding that we are connected to everything outside of us, can we actually be “real”.


*Tarthang Tulku (b. 1934) is a Tibetan teacher (lama) in the Nyingma tradition who lives in America, where he works to preserve the art and culture of Tibet. The Nyingma tradition is the oldest of the four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism "Nyingma" literally means "ancient," and is often referred to as the "school of the ancient translations" or the "old school", because it is founded on the first translations of Buddhist scriptures from Sanskrit into Tibetan, in the eighth century.

Loving Humanity

Much has been made in the news of the man who hacked a New York psychologist to death with a meat cleaver. The focus has been on his being schizophrenic thus reinforcing society’s general fear of the mentally ill – the media makes him out to be a madman, but they also emphasize that he will probably be allowed to plea “not guilty by reason of insanity” as if that allows him to “get away with” murder.

I have a friend who works with those that the rest of society would rather sleep comfortably in their beds pretending that such people don’t exist. She recently told me that if she didn’t love humanity she would not be able to do her job. This caused me to pause and consider what it might mean to love humanity.

Kahlil Gibran tells us, “ Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love.” (The Prophet)

It would seem to me that in spite of 2,000 years of Christianity – a set of beliefs that teaches us that we quite simply, need to love one another – we treat love as something to be possessed, and a means by which we posses others. We put a price on love, we weigh it down with expectations, we destroy it with assumptions, we torment our minds with obsessions – what a way to treat something that can only exist without conditions.

That schizophrenic man will most probably be locked away in a State mental hospital for the rest of his life, and society will breathe a collective sigh of relief - but will anyone pray for his sanity, for him to have a peaceful night free from his torment? He is someone’s son, someone’s brother, he might even be someone’s father – can we as a society, love him unconditionally?

When did we forget that we can still love the man without condoning the behavior, or did we forget it in the instant the words were uttered? Society is not even interested in those who have compassion for the least among us; society only cares that we hide tormented minds away, out of site, so that humanity can continue to lives in it’s selfish delusion that “we” are “OK”.

“Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world………the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of all of you……….the righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked……….and you who would understand justice, how shall you unless you look upon all deeds in the fullness of light? …….The corner-stone of the temple is not higher than the lowest stone in its foundation”. (Kahlil Gibran “The Prophet”)

Thoughts on a job I never wanted

I read this today: “True leadership is a combination of initiative and humility. The best leader remains obscure, leading but drawing no personal attention. As long as the collective has direction, the leader is satisfied. Credit is not taken, it will be awarded when the people realize that it was the subtle influence of the leader that brought them success.” (Meditations on the Tao. Deng Ming-Dao)

I find myself in a position I never wanted – running a County Clinic! All because of the almighty dollar that runs our lives no matter how hard we try not to allow it. As I see it I have two choices – to go completely insane and/or become physically ill (my Doc is already having me come in every 3 weeks to check my blood pressure which is elevated for the first time in my life), or to live within my spiritual beliefs which are the only way to true serenity.

So what do I believe? I know that there is no mythical God out there sitting on a cloud with a bunch of Aryan-looking beauties playing harps. I know there is no Hell in which we will fry if we break a bunch of rules. How could anything be worse than the hell we have created on this beautiful planet? Jesus was a smart man – he knew – 2,000 years of misinterpretation has led us to today. He supposedly said, “Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet they are fed. (My words). Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.” In a nutshell – what the f**k are we all so stressed about???

Deng Ming-Dao says, “ Only a few can truly say that they are living their lives exactly according to their desires. For the majority of us, life is a series of conflicts between our inner ideas and outer constrictions.” So I guess my challenge must be to work within the constrictions that I have set up for myself while maintaining my own belief system, and work toward incorporating that belief system into easing the wretched constrictions within which I find myself.

Deng Ming-Dao also says, “What we are all seeking is clarity. True clarity is more than just being smart, more than just being wise. Clarity…..comes when you can unite all the faculties of the mind and unify them into a magnificent light of perception.”
My first thought on that – I have shut my stupid head up first! So I work at meditation and I read the writings of the masters who understand that there is only “oneness” even though we all choose “separateness”.

Oh to have another lifetime armed with the clues that I am only just finding in this life. Such are my futile thoughts.

Thought for the Day. Anon.

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friend’s face, For life is a swift and terrible race, He/she knows I like them just as well, As in the days when I rang their bell And they’d ring mine - but we were younger then; And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to make a name. "Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim Just to show that I'm thinking of him." But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away, "Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today." And that's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time
it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

With thanks to the anonymous writer.

On Reading “The Shack” by William P. Young

I never would have bought this book had it not been recommended by someone whose opinion I trust and respect. Every time I thought it was going to get romanticized and “mushy” it managed to grab my attention again. Strange, I usually run puking from any mention of Jesus – half the world’s obsession with a brilliant mystic from 2000+ years ago makes me cringe. We had to make him a God – result – the biggest misunderstanding of the simplest message –yea, he was responsible for changing the world alright, but not how he might have intended.

Who is this author? Is it arrogance that he presumes to know God’s intentions? Is he brilliant, misguided, inspired or just guessing? I think he’s going in the right direction. It’s a direction/path/way of living set out by mystics thousands of years before Christ supposedly walked the earth – he didn’t have any new ideas – he just reworded them from the Jewish perspective of an oppressed people.

On Melissa Etheridge’s new album “The Awakening” she asks, “Why do we keep turning people into Gods when God is in the people?” So simple, so true.

Interesting that my friend was so enthused by this book – she keeps in tune with the universe by communing with the wonders of nature on a regular basis – but – the book stresses loving relationships as being one of the keys to transcending the mess mankind is making of the world, yet she eschews relationships. Maybe she’ll explain this seeming paradox to me one day.

Thoughts on being 1

It was my granddaughter’s 1st birthday party a week ago and a beautiful day although a little chilly. We sat outside in the generous backyard of my daughter-in-law’s parents’ house. It was a typical Mexican celebration of the type to which I am slowly becoming accustomed. There were 3 long trestle tables, with a 4th off to the side awaiting the arrival of food. FOOD. Boy can they cook!

It was interesting how everyone split up. One table contained the Spanish speaking people, one contained the young girlfriends and wives of the kids’ friends, the young men were out on the lawn playing hacky sack and teasing each other mercilessly, and then there was the table at which we sat – oh how the times have changed – I now sit with “old folks” – when did that happen?

There was my partner and I (the grandparents), my father-in-law and his wife (the great grandparents) and an aunt and uncle (the granddaughter’s great, great aunt and uncle). Uncle is in his 80s; I took a pretty good photo of him sitting watching his great, great neice tear paper off an overwhelming number of boxes. He will probably pass away before she ever really knows him and she will show her children the photo one day, they will look at this unknown man and have only a vague understanding of their relationship.

So I find myself on this table of “old folks” joining in the conversation about the weather, politics, the cost of housing and a more in-depth conversation with my father-in-law about digital versus film cameras. The strange thing is – I never had this family thing before. My partner’s family seemed to like me immediately and totally adopted me. I rather think that it was because everyone who preceded me in terms of my partner’s former relationships had all been so truly awful and my partner so miserable, that I just glowed in the dark!!

So – later in life I have this “family”, and it still seems very strange to me. If I was alone tomorrow I would be just as happy. The few people I call my friends (rather than just acquaintances) are the most important people in the world to me, there are the ones with whom I play music – possibly the most intimate non-sexual relationship that one can have – and then there are the ones with whom I can have in depth conversations about the nature of the world.

I can only hope that I am given a chance to watch that little one year old grow and be able to share with her some music, thoughts and maybe even some wisdom – although I think I’m only just beginning to attain the latter.

Looking Back

Looking back across the years
I see that I have changed
I used to write poems all the time
Now I barely write my name
So I sat down to write this
To see if the talent was still there
And it would seem that through the cobwebs
There’s still a poem hanging in the air.

I came to California
To make a new life for myself
Escaping all the emotional abuse
That had become a living hell
By the time that I reached 40
I had come to believe
That I would live a life alone
And then she came to me.

Never could I have guessed
That I could really be set free
Free from society’s oppression
Which I had allowed to smother me
But she stood tall beside me
And told me that I was OK
That’s a gift that I will gladly repay
Until my dying day

She opened up a world for me
In which I found I could belong
There was no more guilt, no more shame
No more thinking I must be wrong
And as I hold up my head with pride
I feel a great aching grief
For all the teenage suicides
For all the disbelief.

The world has many miles to go
And I may not see the end
But as I walk the rainbow path
On this you can depend
I will be shouting loudly
For justice for all mankind
I will stand up for those who suffer
Who feel caught up in that bind

Who struggle with their identity
A pain only we can know
In a world that still rejects us
In a world where change is slow.

So if you are not ready yet
To take that first step out
Know that we are many
Know that you need not doubt
For I pledge to stand beside you
When all others turn away
For looking back
That was done for me
And it saved my life that day.