Thoughts on being 1

It was my granddaughter’s 1st birthday party a week ago and a beautiful day although a little chilly. We sat outside in the generous backyard of my daughter-in-law’s parents’ house. It was a typical Mexican celebration of the type to which I am slowly becoming accustomed. There were 3 long trestle tables, with a 4th off to the side awaiting the arrival of food. FOOD. Boy can they cook!

It was interesting how everyone split up. One table contained the Spanish speaking people, one contained the young girlfriends and wives of the kids’ friends, the young men were out on the lawn playing hacky sack and teasing each other mercilessly, and then there was the table at which we sat – oh how the times have changed – I now sit with “old folks” – when did that happen?

There was my partner and I (the grandparents), my father-in-law and his wife (the great grandparents) and an aunt and uncle (the granddaughter’s great, great aunt and uncle). Uncle is in his 80s; I took a pretty good photo of him sitting watching his great, great neice tear paper off an overwhelming number of boxes. He will probably pass away before she ever really knows him and she will show her children the photo one day, they will look at this unknown man and have only a vague understanding of their relationship.

So I find myself on this table of “old folks” joining in the conversation about the weather, politics, the cost of housing and a more in-depth conversation with my father-in-law about digital versus film cameras. The strange thing is – I never had this family thing before. My partner’s family seemed to like me immediately and totally adopted me. I rather think that it was because everyone who preceded me in terms of my partner’s former relationships had all been so truly awful and my partner so miserable, that I just glowed in the dark!!

So – later in life I have this “family”, and it still seems very strange to me. If I was alone tomorrow I would be just as happy. The few people I call my friends (rather than just acquaintances) are the most important people in the world to me, there are the ones with whom I play music – possibly the most intimate non-sexual relationship that one can have – and then there are the ones with whom I can have in depth conversations about the nature of the world.

I can only hope that I am given a chance to watch that little one year old grow and be able to share with her some music, thoughts and maybe even some wisdom – although I think I’m only just beginning to attain the latter.