Today is Veterans Day. In England this is known as Poppy Day. Everybody buys and wears a poppy as a sign of support. The money goes to the various veterans charities. So many of the younger generation do not even know why Veterans Day is on November 11th or have heard of Flanders. If we do not study history we are doomed to repeat it - we must be very poor students.

President Washington said: "It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliance with any portion of the foreign world.... " We revere Washington but we don't listen either. WWI was supposed to be the war to end all wars.

"Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace. " ~Charles Sumner

As of yesterday there were a total of 4,193 recorded dead in Iraq and 626 in Afghanistan. It has cost close to $600 billion and yet we change the channel on our TV preferring to watch another brainless soap rather than watch the realities of our young men and women dying. Bush has kindly spared us pictures of coffins coming home, or countless damaged bodies in the VA hospitals, or grieving families at the graveside. We are fed a diet of implied terror and yet no reports of anyone caught or tried.

Now we will have a new President, and hope arises such as we have not seen in many years. Let us hope that this current war will also become a faded memory, but we must never forget to honor the memory no matter how faded.

In Flanders Fields
by: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies grow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead.

Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The Times they are A-Changin'

The election has come and gone. A landslide. Could 30 years of Reaganomics finally be over? This country is on it's knees. Basic wages do not even cover the rent for a small apartment, while CEOs pay themselves millions in bonuses The banks have played upon the less aware and sold them interest delayed mortgages which, when the interest kicked in after a few years, they could no longer afford, left them homeless, and wrecked their credit. While hardworking people are destroyed, the banks get bailed out. What is wrong with this picture? Why do we stand by and let it happen? Why are we not rioting in the streets? Have we become so demoralized that we believe we no longer have a voice?

While relieved about the end of the Bush era, and hopeful of change, the cloud over it all for me was the passing of Prop. 8 in California - eliminating the right of gay people to marry. I had faith in the people of California, and I believe it was not misplaced; but when other States' entities interfere - Focus on the Family from Colorado, the Mormon Church from Utah - the balance was tipped. So, this evening I did something that I had not done since my student days of the 70s, I went out on the streets of my hometown and I protested. Hopefully the issue will return to the State Supreme Court to be settled on the side of equalty once again.

"Come gather 'round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown, and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone if your time to you is worth savin', then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone for the times they are a-changin'." Bob Dylan Copyright ©1963; renewed 1991 Special Rider Music.

Sweet Melissa

On the night of Saturday 29th the normally peaceful Griffith Park in Hollywood exploded to the sounds of the awesome Melissa Etheridge rocking her heart out for nearly 3 hours. This lady sings my very soul not to mention, my life.

From childhood: "mama I'm strange...I'm just an accident"

To teenage years: "as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free, you are bound to your silent legacy"

To angry young adult: "take a walk inside my shoes, a path I didn't choose, spend the night inside of my skin"

To an emerging realization: "there's no one to hear you might as well scream, they never woke up from the American dream, and they don't understand what they don't see, and they look through you and they look past me..."

To the first real love: "and when you make the choice to believe in your existence, with hello you will know when you find the one"

To an understanding of what you face: "Showers of your crimson blood seep into a nation, calling up a flood of narrow minds who legislate thinly veiled intolerance, bigotry and hate. We all gasp this can't happen here we're all much too civilized where can these monsters hide? But they are knocking on our front door, they're rocking in our cradles, they're preaching in our churches, and eating at our tables..." "10:03 on a Tuesday morning in the fall of an American dream a man is doing what he knows is right on flight 93... Even though he could not marry or teach your children in our schools, because who he wants to love is breaking your God's rules... Can you live with yourself in the land of the free and make him less of a hero than the other three?"

To a belief in what is right: "Marching to their drum with fear standing beside...Cause by cause they fight and one by one they lose...Rip through the wire that screens in my window, throw open the shade that covers my mind, I'm going to touch I've got to believe, the bell tolls for me... I want to testify..."

To the belief in me: "You tried to hold us down, you tried to hold us back, you tried to make us wrong, you tried to make us crack. You wanted to see us cry, you wanted to see us leave, you didn't count on the tide, you didn't count on the pride, you didn't count on me. I am a giant, and you will not make me fall, and you will not make me crawl. I am a giant, and I'm not alone, winds of change have blown, and walls come tumbling down. And I learned from my mistakes, pick myself up off the floor, I have learned just what it takes, now I am stronger than before; and we are standing side by side, we are determined now to win, we've come too far, and we've got the scares, and we are never going back into the shadows again..."

To a spiritual awakening: "Oh, people, c'mon tell me where is your Kingdom of Heaven? Where is your faith? Where do you put your fear? Do you have a price for truth and a price for believing, when heaven is here, heaven is here. My God is love, my God is peace, my God is you, and my God is me"

With Proposition 8 looming like a dark cloud on the horizon, I have to put my faith in the people of California that they will rise up against ignorance, fear, bigotry and hate and make the right choice.

(All quotes are lyrics of Melissa Etheridge)

Thoughts Throughout the Summer

July 31st '08

Reigning Myself In

And so I find myself once more angry at the system for which I work instead of focusing on the task in hand and letting go of the things beyond my control. I get caught up in the mounting stress and frustration of those around me, and I allow it to infect me.
Again I need to real in my boundaries, return my focus to making my immediate surroundings conducive to calm, completing a day's work and allowing the dysfuntional dinosaur to go about it's business. It will do this whether I invest my emotions or not.
I need to return to my daily meditations, I need to exercise and I need to focus on what matters to me in my immediate world. It is going to take great strength of mind and character for me to continue on this path that I have set for myself, without destroying myself in the process.

August 3rd '08

Sadness & Relief

I saved a baby this week, it served to remind me why I do what I do.
The baby had suffered a broken collar bone when she fell from a bed where she had been left while the Mom went to do drugs. Usually the Mom would have been the person that I worked with in a never-ending attempt to turn one more life around - not this time.
That was the saddest baby I had seen in a long time. At one year old she wasn't yet crawling, she did not smile, she made no eye contact and did not respond to attempts to engage her. At least now I can let her out of my mind knowing that she is with a special needs foster Mom and will get the services she requires to address her apparent developmental problems. The Mom? She will continue to use until she's done and then hopefully, she will get help for herself. The help is there, she only has to ask.

August 11th '08

Inspiration People & Other Thoughts

I worked this week to keep myself calm at work, do my job and keep my mind out of politics. For the most part it worked.

On Friday I drove to Barstow for the start of year adjunct faculty meeting. It brought me back to a world that I love, that of teaching. I felt motivated and inspired by the time I left.

I went to the US Open Surfing competition the other weekend and got to meet Jessse Billauer a paraplegic surfer and the founder of the Life Rolls On charitable organization that works for disabled people and includes the "They Will Surf Again" days that enables paraplegics and other disabled people to surf with the help of professional surfers and lifeguards. Jesse is such a super guy and a great inspiration. He's right up there with Kyle Maynard and Christopher Reed. If you have never heard of either Jesse or Kyle I recommend you Google them. Trust me - after reading their stories your aches and pains will seem very minor.

I'm still working on getting my strength back - it's a lot slower than I anticipated but the challenge is good for me. I have a friend who's in training to climb Mt. Whitney - I'm her cheering team! We each climb our own mountains, what I have learned is - be grateful for the opportunity, and grab every opportunity that life offers.

August 23rd '08

The Fragility of Life

I have been pondering my future because I have an opportunity to take a job that I had not previously considered. It calls to me although I'm not sure why. I was given a new lease on life with my surgery earlier this year, and now I have a second opportunity to obtain another new lease on my working life. I think I will take it although many will be both saddened and frustrated by my choice, but I have learned that when opportunity reaches out, take it with both hands. It must have happened for a reason so who am I to ignore it?

Today I was reminded again how fragile life is. A friend of my partner's daughter lost her battle with heart disease - she was too young, it does not seem fair. Again I am reminded of the gift of life that I have, so I need to grasp it with both hands.

I have decided to try something that I have never done nor has ever appealed to me, and that is to go camping. I sold something on e-bay which covered my camping purchases, also purchased on e-bay. So we will go camping next month - should be interesting - watch this space!

Things I learned in hospital

1) I learned to be grateful that I was asleep before they shaved me.

2) I learned that if you fill someone full of morphine, have a bucket ready when you stand them up for the first time.

3) I learned that it's not a good idea to have a muscle spasm just as the nurse turns away, your screams will scare her.

4) I learned that after 2 days without eating, jello is THE best food in the world.

5) I learned that Doctors make lousy nurses especially when it comes to removing dressings.

6) But most of all I learned that if the only words you remember through the pain and haze are, "No cancer", spend every day that follows in gratitude.

Compassion

"Compassion is the finest weapon and best defence.If you would establish harmony,Compassion must surround you like a fortress." (The Tao Te Ching v.68)

I recently watched the web casts of the Seeds of Compassion conference that was held in Washington State with special guest the Dalai Llama. (www.seedsofcompassion.org) The focus was on raising compassionate children and there was debate as to whether compassion was innate or learned. I am usually of the opinion that most emotions and behaviors are a combination of the nature/nurture theories.

I have never given much thought as to whether we are born compassionate, but I certainly believe that children 'learn' to be cruel. We have all suffered from being teased or bullied in the schoolyard, and most adults accept this as just "typical kids behaviors" and therefore rarely do anything to either protect their child, or teach them how to handle these situations without becoming too stressed out, or validate the child's hurt feelings. We tell them to ignore or "get over it".

In spite of horrendous incidents such as the Columbine shootings, we still fail to make nurturing compassion in our children a priority. So huge "kudos" to the Governor of Washington State for realizing the importance of this issue and hosting such an in-depth conference by bringing some of the greatest minds in the field of child development and psychology together for discussion.

The Dalai Llama, in his keynote address, stated that we needed more women in governing roles (no argument here) because women were more likely to find solutions through talking than fighting, and would be much less willing to send their children to war.

I have spent years dealing with my own pent-up rage that resulted from a compassion-less childhood. Today I am a supremely compassionate person working in a field of caring professionals, but finding the system within which I work one that does not care. Huge cutbacks in funding by the California State Governor have meant that the poorest of the poor will once again be denied the help and support that they need to become functioning members of society. Apparently there is no value in that to the State.

I have a neighbor who has friends in the professional baseball field and he tells me that young talents are often paid sign-up bonuses of $4 million. This must be what we value in our society. Please don't misunderstand me, I enjoy a good game of baseball but there has to be a balance in this world.

Compassion must begin at home - yes - with the children that we are raising if we want things to change for the better in the future, but in making such cutbacks to the already dis-enfranchised will engender despair and rage such as I felt as a child in a compassion-less home. From personal experience I can truly state that this a recipe for disaster.

Poverty Consciousness

Tao Te Ching Verse 19:
“Bind your self-interest and control your ambition;Forget your habits and simplify your affairs.”

My partner and I have reached a stage in our lives where we have finally realized that that we need to unload material “stuff”. We have a room in the house that we call “the dungeon” because everything gets dumped in there. Every time I have considered doing something about it I take one look, get completely overwhelmed and close the door.

Then a friend said, how about just committing to getting rid of just two items per week? It doesn’t matter how long it takes because it will get cleared out eventually, whereas now all movement is stagnant. So, this is what we have been doing, and finding that in fact, we often remove more than two items. We have two other commitments – not to add anything new into the dungeon and if we purchase some new item, we must get rid of something we already have. That way we don’t start acquiring more “stuff”.

Deepak Chopra tells us, “Attachment (to things) comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols.”* In other words if we need things to make us feel good, we might have the big house, the sports car, the private jet, but we will spend all of our energy trying to hold on to these things at the expense of ourselves.

Poverty consciousness is not directly related to the amount of money you have. Rather, it's the relationship to that money or to material possessions. You can live in conditions of poverty without necessarily living in poverty consciousness, which is a state of mind and heart. The, “I don’t have syndrome” is a primary cause of poverty consciousness. Every time we think, feel, act or say we don’t have enough we reinforce in our consciousness that untruth about ourselves.

I call the constant acquiring of more “stuff”, feeding the hole in your soul. It doesn’t matter what you throw in there – houses, cars, money, drugs, sex – none of it will ever be enough. Like an addictive drug we develop a tolerance for possessions and therefore have to have more and more to gain some form of “feeling good”. Until we seek happiness within, we will be miserable.

I’m facing surgery next week – nothing major, but there are always concerns. I feel amazingly calm and I truly believe that this is because I am cultivating a relationship with the Universe instead of one focused entirely on me. I have been meditating daily, working on just trying to still my mind, what I have learned is that the ‘not’ stilling of one’s mind is not a failure, but the daily practice of it is a success. Not having “stuff” is not poverty, realizing that I have everything I need for peace and contentment already within me, is riches indeed.

*(The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success)

Wellness

Of all the things that we take for granted I think one of the "biggies" is our health, until that is, a problem arises. Such has been my lot this past two weeks. I degenerated quickly from my usual energy level to feeling like I was walking on legs of jello, barely able to stay awake and unable to think clearly. On Monday I was at the doctor getting blood tests, on Thursday I was back at the Doctor and more tests, a phone call brought me in on Friday for more blood tests and then a phone call Friday lunchtime sent me to the hospital for yet more blood tests all culminating in a transfusion of 2 units of blood on Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon I felt like my "old" self and was told I had some color back in my face. The next few weeks bring more doctor visits all of which will probably culminate in surgery to correct the origins of the problem.

I have listened to people's stories of recovering from cancer and other serious debilitating illnesses, and I have always been thankful that nothing major has affected me in my 50+ years in this Universe. The Buddhist phillosophy puts much emphasis on being in touch with our physical selves as well as our spritual self. In the Tibetan medical tradition, the concept of well-being takes into account the full dynamics of mind, body and spirit to achieve an effective and comprehensive healing strategy. It is immersed in Buddhist tradition, which differs from non-Buddhist medicine in that it utilizes three types of therapeutic intervention: medicinal entities, the power of mantra (a creative, repetitive sound) and the power of meditative stabilization.

In doing so, the Tibetan healing traditions transport us into a strange world of interconnectedness between macrocosmic principles and their microcosmic manifestations; harmony and balance between the cosmic macrocosm and the human microcosm is believed to be essential for health and well-being. This is true not only in the sense that balance is required for health, but also in the somewhat deeper sense that such balance is the essence of health; balance among the physical, psychological and spiritual elements of human existence is health.

Furthermore, the Tibetan Buddhist believes that karma(simply stated, the law of cause and effect) from one's previous incarnations can also be responsible for our illnesses in our present experience. Sakyamuni, the historical Buddha, explained this principle when he said:
In sooth to every man that's born
A hatchet grows within his mouth,
Wherewith the fool, whene'er he speaks
And speaks amiss, doth cut himself . . . (quoted from Samyutta-nikaya in Birnbaum, p.9*)

Our emotional energies are neither good nor bad in themselves; for example, the energy/intelligence that turns to hatred when siezed in the neurotic grip of ego can also manifest as simple, clear awareness of the true situation--thus it is how we relate to our emotional energies that is crucial to well-ness. Understanding one's emotions is an essential part of the Buddhist journey to full awakening and freedom form unwanted conditions of all sorts. However, since most of us have very little ability to work with our emotional energies without creating negative experiences, medicines and other remedies are required.

The mind is considered the origin of all illness and spiritual afflictions. Consequently, much of the healing that the Medicine Buddha promises lies within the mind. The significance of the Medicine Buddha as the Supreme Healer in Tibetan medicine for liberating the individual from suffering is an exemplary metaphor for the mystical elements which are universally inherent in the healing tradition. The tradition is truly a holistic approach to the problem of suffering, both individual suffering and suffering as a universal condition.

(With thanks to: The Art of Healing: A Tibetan Buddhist Perspective on www.dharma-haven.org)

*(Birnbaum, Raoul. The Healing Buddha. Boulder: Shambhala Publications, Inc., 1979).

Earth Hour

We turned off all electricity in our house for an hour this evening in honor of the WWF's Earth Hour. It would seem that this phenomenon has spread around the world since it's inception. What if we were to do this once a month? What a huge difference this would make to the staggering amounts of carbon emissions that we blast into the ozone every minute of every day.

It still amazes me that in spite of all the attention global warming is getting these days, many people still go about their daily lives without giving a damn. Melissa Etheridge was right, "We need to wake up"! If greenhouse gases continue to increase, climate models predict that the average temperature at the Earth's surface could increase from 3.2 to 7.2ºF above 1990 levels by the end of this century. Scientists are certain that human activities are changing the composition of the atmosphere, and that increasing the concentration of greenhouse gases will change the planet's climate. (www.epa.gov)

So - at the risk of boring you to death, here are some of the suggestions that each of us could do to help:

Most emissions from homes are from the fossil fuels burned to generate electricity and heat. By using energy more efficiently at home, you can reduce your emissions and lower your energy bills by more than 30%. In addition, since agriculture is responsible for about a fifth of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions, you can reduce your emissions simply by watching what you eat.

Here’s how:
Replace a regular incandescent light bulb with a compact fluorescent light bulb (cfl)CFLs use 60% less energy than a regular bulb. This simple switch will save about 300 pounds of carbon dioxide a year. If every family in the U.S. made the switch, we’d reduce carbon dioxide by more than 90 billion pounds! You can purchase CFLs online from the Energy Federation.

Move your thermostat down 2° in winter and up 2° in summerAlmost half of the energy we use in our homes goes to heating and cooling. You could save about 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year with this simple adjustment.

Clean or replace filters on your furnace and air conditioner Cleaning a dirty air filter can save 350 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.

Install a programmable thermostatProgrammable thermostats will automatically lower the heat or air conditioning at night and raise them again in the morning. They can save you $100 a year on your energy bill.

Choose energy efficient appliances when making new purchases Look for the Energy Star label on new appliances to choose the most efficient models. If each household in the U.S. replaced its existing appliances with the most efficient models available, we’d eliminate 175 million tons of carbon dioxide emissions every year!

Wrap your water heater in an insulation blanket You’ll save 1,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year with this simple action. You can save another 550 pounds per year by setting the thermostat no higher than 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

Use less hot water It takes a lot of energy to heat water. You can use less hot water by installing a low flow showerhead (350 pounds of carbon dioxide saved per year) and washing your clothes in cold or warm water (500 pounds saved per year) instead of hot.

Use a clothesline instead of a dryer whenever possibleYou can save 700 pounds of carbon dioxide when you air dry your clothes for 6 months out of the year.

Turn off electronic devices you’re not using. Simply turning off your television, DVD player, stereo, and computer when you’re not using them will save you thousands of pounds of carbon dioxide a year.

Unplug electronics from the wall when you’re not using them Even when turned off, things like hairdryers, cell phone chargers and televisions use energy. In fact, the energy used to keep display clocks lit and memory chips working accounts for 5 percent of total domestic energy consumption and spews 18 million tons of carbon into the atmosphere every year!

Only run your dishwasher when there’s a full load and use the energy-saving settingYou can save 100 pounds of carbon dioxide per year.

Insulate and weatherize your home Properly insulating your walls and ceilings can save 25% of your home heating bill and 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year. Caulking and weather-stripping can save another 1,700 pounds per year.

Be sure you’re recycling at home You can save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide a year by recycling half of the waste your household generates.

Buy recycled paper products It takes less 70 to 90% less energy to make recycled paper and it prevents the loss of forests worldwide.

Plant a tree. A single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioxide over its lifetime. Shade provided by trees can also reduce your air conditioning bill by 10 to 15%. The Arbor Day Foundation has information on planting and provides trees you can plant with membership.

Get a home energy audit Many utilities offer free home energy audits to find where your home is poorly insulated or energy inefficient. You can save up to 30% off your energy bill and 1,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year. Energy Star can help you find an energy specialist.

Switch to green powerIn many areas, you can switch to energy generated by clean, renewable sources such as wind and solar. The Green Power Network is a good place to start to figure out what’s available in your area.

Buy locally grown and produced foods. The average meal in the United States travels 1,200 miles from the farm to your plate. Buying locally will save fuel and keep money in your community.

Buy fresh foods instead of frozen Frozen food uses 10 times more energy to produce.
Seek out and support local farmers markets They reduce the amount of energy required to grow and transport the food to you by one fifth.

Buy organic foods as much as possible. Organic soils capture and store carbon dioxide at much higher levels than soils from conventional farms. If we grew all of our corn and soybeans organically, we’d remove 580 billion pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere!

Avoid heavily packaged products You can save 1,200 pounds of carbon dioxide if you cut down your garbage by 10%.

Eat less meat. Methane is the second most significant greenhouse gas and cows are one of the greatest methane emitters. Their grassy diet and multiple stomachs cause them to produce methane, which they exhale with every breath.

REDUCE YOUR IMPACT WHILE ON THE MOVE
Almost one third of the carbon dioxide produced in the United States comes from our cars, trucks and airplanes. Here are some simple, practical things you can do to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide you produce while on the move.

Reduce the number of miles you drive by walking, biking, carpooling or taking mass transit wherever possible. Avoiding just 10 miles of driving every week would eliminate about 500 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions a year!

Start a carpool with your coworkers or classmates. Sharing a ride with someone just 2 days a week will reduce your carbon dioxide emissions by 1,590 pounds a year.

Keep your car tuned upRegular maintenance helps improve fuel efficiency and reduces emissions. When just 1% of car owners properly maintain their cars, nearly a billion pounds of carbon dioxide are kept out of the atmosphere.

Check your tires weekly to make sure they’re properly inflated Proper inflation can improve gas mileage by more than 3%. Since every gallon of gasoline saved keeps 20 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, every increase in fuel efficiency makes a difference!

When it is time for a new car, choose a more fuel efficient vehicle. You can save 3,000 pounds of carbon dioxide every year if your new car gets only 3 miles per gallon more than your current one. You can get up to 60 miles per gallon with a hybrid!

Try car sharing. Need a car but don’t want to buy one? Community car sharing organizations provide access to a car and your membership fee covers gas, maintenance and insurance. Many companies – such as Flexcar -- offer low emission or hybrid cars too!

Try telecommuting from home. Telecommuting can help you drastically reduce the number of miles you drive every week. For more information, check out the Telework Coalition.

Fly less. Air travel produces large amounts of emissions so reducing how much you fly by even one or two trips a year can reduce your emissions significantly. You can also offset your air travel by investing in renewable energy projects.
WE CAN ALL DO SOME OR ALL OF THESE
MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY
IT IS YOUR FUTURE AND THAT OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN
(This information was taken from the web site www.climatecrisis.net)

Easter Thoughts from a Recovering Catholic

Easter gets its name from the Teutonic goddess of spring and the dawn, whose name is spelled Oestre or Eastre (the origin of the word "east" comes from various Germanic, Austro-Hungarian words for dawn that share the root for the word "aurora" which means " to shine"). Modern pagans have generally accepted the spelling "Ostara" which honors this goddess as our word for the Vernal Equinox. The 1974 edition of Webster's New World Dictionary defines Easter thus: "orig., name of pagan vernal festival almost coincident in date with paschal festival of the church; Eastre, dawn goddess; 1. An annual Christian festival celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, held on the first Sunday after the date of the first full moon that occurs on or after March 21." The Vernal Equinox usually falls somewhere between March 19th and 22nd (note that the dictionary only mentions March 21st, as opposed to the date of the actual Equinox), and depending upon when the first full moon on or after the Equinox occurs, Easter falls sometime between late-March and mid-April. (Peg Aloi - http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usma&c=holidays&id=1991)

I grew up Catholic, went to a Convent School from age 6 to 18 years. In both home and school there was an atmosphere of control through guilt and shame – very effective – very destructive. It created a deep-seated rage in me that took years of self-discovery and some talented therapists, to dissolve. The Catholic church of my childhood evolved through the ecumenical councils of Pope John XXIII that turned away from the Latin mass to a modern English version. Gone were the wonderful plainchant masses for which I would get up early on a Sunday morning and walk several miles to sit under the organ loft at the back of the church and listen, entranced.

Before that switch a pilgrimage would take place every year from the city of Bath where I grew up, to the ancient town of Glastonbury in the land of the summer sea known as the County of Somerset in England. The pilgrimage culminated in the ruins of the once beautiful Abbey that was destroyed by the bullyboys of King Henry VIII – he of the six wives. Glastonbury is the considered to be the heart of Avalon, the ancient isle of the druid priestesses. Rising over the town is a natural land formation known as Glastonbury Tor. It can be seen for miles and I have climbed it both as a child and as an adult. It has always been a mystical, magical place for me even as a child not knowing the history.

It didn’t matter whether I was there on a ritualized Catholic pilgrimage with hundreds of others, or an individual visit to re-connect with my heritage – the magic is always there. Easter is considered to be the greatest miracle by the Christians – the Son of God rising from the dead. Down through the ages there have been great Kings who were predicted to come again. Arthur is one such legend. He is often referred to as the “once and future king”. It is ironic then that he was supposedly buried in Glastonbury Abby. That myth has long been disproved but the tourist attraction is still there so the “grave” and the plaque that states Arthur is buried here, still stand. Ironic because at Easter the pilgrimage was made to celebrate the King rising from the dead – The Son King, the son OF the king, the once and future king?

It doesn’t really matter which legend you choose to believe – the celebration is of a re-birth – no matter how we treat Mother Earth, the wheel of the year still turns, spring comes again, and the world is re-born – a miracle indeed!

The Courage Within

"May all sentient beings have the courage to look within themselves and see the good and bad that exists in all of us. May we open our hearts, shining the light of love into the dark recesses where doubt and fear reside. May we have the courage to step into that light and embrace whatever we find, letting it rise to the surface freed by the act of loving kindness".
(Beliefnet member kuliLinei. Beliefnet prayer circle.)

What has happened to our society that we live in so much fear? In the United States in a period that lasted roughly from the late 1940s to the late 1950s, McCarthyism was a term that described intense anti-communist suspicion. During this time many thousands of Americans were accused of being Communists or communist sympathizers and became the subject of aggressive investigations and questioning before government or private-industry panels, committees and agencies. The primary targets of such suspicions were government employees, those in the entertainment industry, educators and union activists. Suspicions were often given credence despite inconclusive or questionable evidence, and the level of threat posed by a person's real or supposed leftist associations or beliefs was often greatly exaggerated. Many people suffered loss of employment, destruction of their careers, and even imprisonment. Most of these punishments came about through trial verdicts later overturned, laws that would be declared unconstitutional, dismissals for reasons later declared illegal or actionable or extra-legal procedures that would come into general disrepute.

In November 2005, Business Week reported that the FBI had issued tens of thousands of "National Security Letters" and had obtained one million financial records from the customers of targeted Las Vegas businesses. Selected businesses included casinos, storage warehouses and car rental agencies. An anonymous Justice official claimed that such requests were permitted under section 505 of the USA PATRIOT Act and despite the volume of requests insisted "We are not inclined to ask courts to endorse fishing expeditions". This didn't just include financial records, but credit records, employment records, and in some cases, health records.

The large scale wiretapping and tracing of calls to and from foreign countries also falls under this. Millions of phone records were harvested, fed into a database and were searched for patterns of calling to and from numbers of known terrorists. To date, there have been no announced arrests from this program.

Public libraries have been asked to turn over their records for specific terminals. A few have filed suit, because the National Security Letters that they were presented with were very sweeping, demanding information not just on the individual under investigation, but on everyone who had used specific terminals at the libraries during given time windows. Since many of the users in one case were minor children, one library felt that it had an obligation to notify the parents. The FBI has disagreed and the case is now working its way through the court system.

The FBI used the USA PATRIOT Act 13 times to request journalists that had interviewed computer intruder Adrian Lamo to preserve their notes and other information while they petitioned the Department of Justice for a subpoena to force the reporters to hand over the information. Journalists involved included newspaper writers, wire service reporters, and MSNBC writers. The Department of Justice did not authorize the subpoena requests because the language of the subpoena violated the Department's guidelines for a subpoena request, rather than recognition of any reporter/source privilege. The requests to preserve information were dropped. In some cases, the FBI apologized for the language of the request

On March 9, 2007, a Justice Department audit found that the FBI had "improperly and, in some cases, illegally used the USA Patriot Act to secretly obtain personal information" about United States citizens. On June 15, 2007, following an internal audit finding that FBI agents abused a Patriot Act power more than 1000 times, U.S. District Judge John D. Bates ordered the agency to begin turning over thousands of pages of documents related to the agency's national security letters program.

It seems to me that our FBI has become every bit as controversial as the KGB of the old USSR. We would hear about injustices suffered under the old Russian regime such as imprisonment without trial, torture, and persecutions because of a particular belief or lifestyle - and now we have become like those very systems that we condemned.

Here are just 2 quotes (among many) from the Koran:
Be helpful to one another according to goodness and piety, but be not helpful for evil and malice. 5:3
He who slays anyone...............................shall be as though he had slain all of mankind; but that he who saves a life, shall as though he had saved all mankind alive. 5:35

I have not read the Koran, these were two quotes that I found on: http://www.johnworldpeace.com/koran1.html and I know that there are many more. The view that we are presented of the Muslim people is one of crazed fundamentalism, suicide bombers and terrorists.

The last time the media was used to promote propaganda against a race of people, the following words were used:
"The non-Jew has no idea of the scope of this struggle. He does not know the Jewish people's secret goals, or the crimes they have committed over four millennia to reach those goals, or the enormous danger it faces if these goals are revealed before they can be realized."
(Quote from article from 'Der Stürmer' that appeared in July 1933)

The Dalai Lama tells us, "We must remember that the different religions, ideologies, and political systems of the world are meant for human beings to achieve happiness. We must not lose sight of this fundamental goal and at no time should we place means above ends; the supremacy of humanity over matter and ideology must always be maintained".
(A Human Approach to World Peace http://www.dalailama.com/page.62.htm)

Are we forever doomed to repeat ourselves over and over? Obama says he will not rule out talking with any other world leader and he is being condemmed for making such a controversial statement. WAR HAS NEVER WORKED! It is time for another approach - the greatest spiritual minds have been telling us for generations - give peace a chance - let's talk.

The Law of Giving

The 12-Step programs tell us that that we can only keep what we have by giving it away. One of Deepak Chopra’s seven spiritual laws of success is the law of giving. Lao Tzu tells, “Man decreases those who need more than they have, and increases those who have more than they need. To give away what you do not need is to follow the Tao”. Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

All of this sounds great, we all agree – right? Yet this is not ‘The American Way’. We live in this horrendous consumer society that feeds on itself like a voracious cancer. Mankind’s continuous demand for bigger, better, faster – more, more, more – has become the slow destruction of the world in which we live.

Now we hear about global warming, conserve energy, recycle, organic food, hybrid cars etc. etc., but we have outsourced ourselves to a point where we are used to getting “stuff” at relatively cheap prices. If we were to actually purchase American-made products, all organic etc. the price of our “stuff”, even the stuff we need to survive, would be priced out of existence.

What saddens me is that a large number of Americans (maybe even the majority) still believe that we need to have these huge corporations to “compete” (meaning ‘dominate’) in the world market. We make contributions to organizations like Oxfam as we head out to Wal-Mart to buy more stuff that has been made in some 3rd world country, by people who live on $2 a month, never realizing that Oxfam is working to improve the lives of those same people to help make them self-sufficient so that they won’t have to work for American corporations who hire them like the slave labor that they are.

How did we get here, and how do we turn it around? For all the emphasis put on living a righteous life, I do not see the evidence that we actually believe, “We can only keep what we have by giving it away”

The Futility of Words

“The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught, the trap is forgotten. The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten. The purpose of words is to convey ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words? He is the one I would like to talk to”. (Chuang Tzu)*

“Even the finest teaching is not the Tao itself. Even the finest name is insufficient to define it. Without words, the Tao can be experienced, and without a name, it can be known”. (From the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu – translation by Stan Rosenthal)

In this election year we listen to many words. There are many who say that despite all the promises that politicians’ make they are “all the same” once they get into power. I have found in my life that any time I get into the “politics” of something, I loose track of my role in life and I have to pull myself back into focus before I drown in some war of words.

Have you noticed that all these political rallies are very noisy? A barrage of sign waving, yelling, cheering, speakers using “sound bites” to fire up the crowd – all designed to stop any true consideration of what is before us and to make us “follow the crowd”.

A comparison can be drawn with the average casino – have you noticed that once you step onto the casino floor you can no longer see any windows, that there are no clocks to tell you the time, that the noise is non-stop and the games are designed to hold you there, daring you to walk away and loose that chance of the jackpot?

Both are forms of brainwashing, designed to take away all rational thought and persuade you to buy into what is being presented. Politics is a gamble. You enter into the world of the rally, you are swept away by promises of what might be and you cast your vote. When all subsides you eventually notice that nothing has changed, just like when you step outside of the casino – the world is proceeding just like it was before you entered.

The ancient philosophers tell us that to transcend the ego we have to be silent, for without quieting the mind we cannot experience the infinite.

The words of a famous folk song come to mind, “When will we ever learn?”

*The Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu (ca. 369-ca. 286 BC), also known as Chuang Chou, was the most brilliant of the early Taoists and the greatest prose writer of his time.

Thoughts on the law of detachment.

Deepak Chopra teaches us that law of detachment says, “in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn't mean you give up the intention to create your desire. You give up your attachment to the result”. (The Seven Spirituals Laws of Success)

Over and over again in my life I have witnessed that when I wanted some particular direction to unfold in my life, I would try to control or manipulate my world such that what I wanted would transpire. It has never worked! As soon as I relinquished control, what I wanted appeared before me. When I read Chopra’s words I knew exactly what he meant.

In the final months before I left the UK to come to the US, a friend of mine asked me what I wanted to do there for a career. I already had my BA in psychology and I thought I wanted to be an educational psychologist and work with children. I remember distinctly telling my friend, “I know what I’m NOT going to be, I’m NOT going to be one of those therapist people!”

Shortly after arriving here I went to the local Cal State University and applied for a place in a Masters Program---I was rejected!! What??? Apparently I failed to show sufficiently how my British degree equated to the US education system. You’ve got to be kidding me??? Don’t they know who I am??? I withdrew my application and looked for some appropriate pre-requisites to take. Another block – I had to establish residency!! Aww c’mon!! I withdrew altogether.

Barely a week later I received a call from a local group home with whom I had submitted an application and I was hired. Some months later, due to a miscommunication, I ended up at a bus depot to pick up residents back from weekend passes along with a colleague from another one of the homes (only one of us should have been there). I complained about my college woes and she gave information on the private college that she was attending that had an accelerated program which would probably accept me without the Cal State requirements. I applied – they accepted. What was the program? A Masters in Counseling – I was on my way to becoming a therapist!!!

I share that story a lot with my clients when talking about control issues and the need to trust that a power greater than ourselves has it all under control just fine – if only we would allow it.

I must have forgotten my own words, because last year I found myself in need of extra finances and started applying to various colleges for an adjunct teaching position. There was one university where I particularly wanted to teach – they rejected my application. What?? Don’t they know who I am?? I called – I got my interview – and got rejected again. I got polite letters from the other colleges stating that they would hold my information on file. I stopped chasing and started reducing my expenses to gain a handle on my finances.

A few weeks later I received a call from a local community college – would I be interested in teaching on-line – would I??? I now teach on-line to entry-level would-be counselors – and I’m loving it. In the 12-Step programs it is said that you can only keep what you have by giving it away. Teaching is a wonderful way to keep oneself up-to-date by giving away what one has learned.

One other example from my life: when I reached the age of 40 and was still single, I concluded that I must be meant to live alone, and I made peace with the idea. Just a few months later someone walked into my life with whom I have now lived for nearly 14 years.
So when I read Chopra’s words – I understood fully – as long as you retain an ‘attachment’ – a ‘must have’ mentality – you will not achieve what you desire; let it go and will come to you freely. To quote Melissa Etheridge, “The universe listens”.

Thoughts on the meaning of reality

“Reality is all-encompassing: the absolute nature is one. Although we may feel separate from the original uncreated reality - whether we call it 'God,' 'peak experience,' or 'enlightened mind' - through awareness we can contact this essential part of ourselves”. (Tarthang Tulku*)

When you are in the presence of a truly “awake” person, and you are also in a state of mindful “awakeness” then your mind will resonate with theirs to the point that you will feel “one” with them. Musicians understand this concept in music – when a group of musicians are playing as one, they lose sense of themselves and the notes they are playing, and they “become” the music. When you have a friend with whom you truly feel as “one with”, you might not have had contact with them for some time, maybe even years, but when you do finally get together the lapse of time evaporates and you are immediately “in tune” with each other.

I am beginning to understand that I have to be “at one with” myself if I wish to transcend the daily drudge into a place of spiritual peace or serenity. It is interesting that a favorite prayer in the world of those in addiction recovery, begins, “God, grant me the serenity…..” This assumes, again, that we have to look outside of ourselves for our serenity; we are told that we have the right to pursue happiness, as if that is outside of ourselves as well.

In my humble opinion this view of reality has been a curse upon our society, the reason why we lack so much peace of mind and why we are the biggest consumers of anti-depressant medication in the world. Please don’t misunderstand me there are many whose lives would be destroyed without medications so thank goodness for them, but the TV ads. push pills upon us as the “cure” for any feeling that we might have.

If we do not allow ourselves to be at peace with our feelings and accept them because they are just there, how can we ever transcend the daily drudge? Only through awareness of everything within us, and the understanding that we are connected to everything outside of us, can we actually be “real”.


*Tarthang Tulku (b. 1934) is a Tibetan teacher (lama) in the Nyingma tradition who lives in America, where he works to preserve the art and culture of Tibet. The Nyingma tradition is the oldest of the four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism "Nyingma" literally means "ancient," and is often referred to as the "school of the ancient translations" or the "old school", because it is founded on the first translations of Buddhist scriptures from Sanskrit into Tibetan, in the eighth century.

Loving Humanity

Much has been made in the news of the man who hacked a New York psychologist to death with a meat cleaver. The focus has been on his being schizophrenic thus reinforcing society’s general fear of the mentally ill – the media makes him out to be a madman, but they also emphasize that he will probably be allowed to plea “not guilty by reason of insanity” as if that allows him to “get away with” murder.

I have a friend who works with those that the rest of society would rather sleep comfortably in their beds pretending that such people don’t exist. She recently told me that if she didn’t love humanity she would not be able to do her job. This caused me to pause and consider what it might mean to love humanity.

Kahlil Gibran tells us, “ Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love.” (The Prophet)

It would seem to me that in spite of 2,000 years of Christianity – a set of beliefs that teaches us that we quite simply, need to love one another – we treat love as something to be possessed, and a means by which we posses others. We put a price on love, we weigh it down with expectations, we destroy it with assumptions, we torment our minds with obsessions – what a way to treat something that can only exist without conditions.

That schizophrenic man will most probably be locked away in a State mental hospital for the rest of his life, and society will breathe a collective sigh of relief - but will anyone pray for his sanity, for him to have a peaceful night free from his torment? He is someone’s son, someone’s brother, he might even be someone’s father – can we as a society, love him unconditionally?

When did we forget that we can still love the man without condoning the behavior, or did we forget it in the instant the words were uttered? Society is not even interested in those who have compassion for the least among us; society only cares that we hide tormented minds away, out of site, so that humanity can continue to lives in it’s selfish delusion that “we” are “OK”.

“Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world………the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of all of you……….the righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked……….and you who would understand justice, how shall you unless you look upon all deeds in the fullness of light? …….The corner-stone of the temple is not higher than the lowest stone in its foundation”. (Kahlil Gibran “The Prophet”)

Thoughts on a job I never wanted

I read this today: “True leadership is a combination of initiative and humility. The best leader remains obscure, leading but drawing no personal attention. As long as the collective has direction, the leader is satisfied. Credit is not taken, it will be awarded when the people realize that it was the subtle influence of the leader that brought them success.” (Meditations on the Tao. Deng Ming-Dao)

I find myself in a position I never wanted – running a County Clinic! All because of the almighty dollar that runs our lives no matter how hard we try not to allow it. As I see it I have two choices – to go completely insane and/or become physically ill (my Doc is already having me come in every 3 weeks to check my blood pressure which is elevated for the first time in my life), or to live within my spiritual beliefs which are the only way to true serenity.

So what do I believe? I know that there is no mythical God out there sitting on a cloud with a bunch of Aryan-looking beauties playing harps. I know there is no Hell in which we will fry if we break a bunch of rules. How could anything be worse than the hell we have created on this beautiful planet? Jesus was a smart man – he knew – 2,000 years of misinterpretation has led us to today. He supposedly said, “Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet they are fed. (My words). Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.” In a nutshell – what the f**k are we all so stressed about???

Deng Ming-Dao says, “ Only a few can truly say that they are living their lives exactly according to their desires. For the majority of us, life is a series of conflicts between our inner ideas and outer constrictions.” So I guess my challenge must be to work within the constrictions that I have set up for myself while maintaining my own belief system, and work toward incorporating that belief system into easing the wretched constrictions within which I find myself.

Deng Ming-Dao also says, “What we are all seeking is clarity. True clarity is more than just being smart, more than just being wise. Clarity…..comes when you can unite all the faculties of the mind and unify them into a magnificent light of perception.”
My first thought on that – I have shut my stupid head up first! So I work at meditation and I read the writings of the masters who understand that there is only “oneness” even though we all choose “separateness”.

Oh to have another lifetime armed with the clues that I am only just finding in this life. Such are my futile thoughts.

Thought for the Day. Anon.

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friend’s face, For life is a swift and terrible race, He/she knows I like them just as well, As in the days when I rang their bell And they’d ring mine - but we were younger then; And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to make a name. "Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim Just to show that I'm thinking of him." But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away, "Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today." And that's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time
it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

With thanks to the anonymous writer.

On Reading “The Shack” by William P. Young

I never would have bought this book had it not been recommended by someone whose opinion I trust and respect. Every time I thought it was going to get romanticized and “mushy” it managed to grab my attention again. Strange, I usually run puking from any mention of Jesus – half the world’s obsession with a brilliant mystic from 2000+ years ago makes me cringe. We had to make him a God – result – the biggest misunderstanding of the simplest message –yea, he was responsible for changing the world alright, but not how he might have intended.

Who is this author? Is it arrogance that he presumes to know God’s intentions? Is he brilliant, misguided, inspired or just guessing? I think he’s going in the right direction. It’s a direction/path/way of living set out by mystics thousands of years before Christ supposedly walked the earth – he didn’t have any new ideas – he just reworded them from the Jewish perspective of an oppressed people.

On Melissa Etheridge’s new album “The Awakening” she asks, “Why do we keep turning people into Gods when God is in the people?” So simple, so true.

Interesting that my friend was so enthused by this book – she keeps in tune with the universe by communing with the wonders of nature on a regular basis – but – the book stresses loving relationships as being one of the keys to transcending the mess mankind is making of the world, yet she eschews relationships. Maybe she’ll explain this seeming paradox to me one day.

Thoughts on being 1

It was my granddaughter’s 1st birthday party a week ago and a beautiful day although a little chilly. We sat outside in the generous backyard of my daughter-in-law’s parents’ house. It was a typical Mexican celebration of the type to which I am slowly becoming accustomed. There were 3 long trestle tables, with a 4th off to the side awaiting the arrival of food. FOOD. Boy can they cook!

It was interesting how everyone split up. One table contained the Spanish speaking people, one contained the young girlfriends and wives of the kids’ friends, the young men were out on the lawn playing hacky sack and teasing each other mercilessly, and then there was the table at which we sat – oh how the times have changed – I now sit with “old folks” – when did that happen?

There was my partner and I (the grandparents), my father-in-law and his wife (the great grandparents) and an aunt and uncle (the granddaughter’s great, great aunt and uncle). Uncle is in his 80s; I took a pretty good photo of him sitting watching his great, great neice tear paper off an overwhelming number of boxes. He will probably pass away before she ever really knows him and she will show her children the photo one day, they will look at this unknown man and have only a vague understanding of their relationship.

So I find myself on this table of “old folks” joining in the conversation about the weather, politics, the cost of housing and a more in-depth conversation with my father-in-law about digital versus film cameras. The strange thing is – I never had this family thing before. My partner’s family seemed to like me immediately and totally adopted me. I rather think that it was because everyone who preceded me in terms of my partner’s former relationships had all been so truly awful and my partner so miserable, that I just glowed in the dark!!

So – later in life I have this “family”, and it still seems very strange to me. If I was alone tomorrow I would be just as happy. The few people I call my friends (rather than just acquaintances) are the most important people in the world to me, there are the ones with whom I play music – possibly the most intimate non-sexual relationship that one can have – and then there are the ones with whom I can have in depth conversations about the nature of the world.

I can only hope that I am given a chance to watch that little one year old grow and be able to share with her some music, thoughts and maybe even some wisdom – although I think I’m only just beginning to attain the latter.

Looking Back

Looking back across the years
I see that I have changed
I used to write poems all the time
Now I barely write my name
So I sat down to write this
To see if the talent was still there
And it would seem that through the cobwebs
There’s still a poem hanging in the air.

I came to California
To make a new life for myself
Escaping all the emotional abuse
That had become a living hell
By the time that I reached 40
I had come to believe
That I would live a life alone
And then she came to me.

Never could I have guessed
That I could really be set free
Free from society’s oppression
Which I had allowed to smother me
But she stood tall beside me
And told me that I was OK
That’s a gift that I will gladly repay
Until my dying day

She opened up a world for me
In which I found I could belong
There was no more guilt, no more shame
No more thinking I must be wrong
And as I hold up my head with pride
I feel a great aching grief
For all the teenage suicides
For all the disbelief.

The world has many miles to go
And I may not see the end
But as I walk the rainbow path
On this you can depend
I will be shouting loudly
For justice for all mankind
I will stand up for those who suffer
Who feel caught up in that bind

Who struggle with their identity
A pain only we can know
In a world that still rejects us
In a world where change is slow.

So if you are not ready yet
To take that first step out
Know that we are many
Know that you need not doubt
For I pledge to stand beside you
When all others turn away
For looking back
That was done for me
And it saved my life that day.