On the night of Saturday 29th the normally peaceful Griffith Park in Hollywood exploded to the sounds of the awesome Melissa Etheridge rocking her heart out for nearly 3 hours. This lady sings my very soul not to mention, my life.
From childhood: "mama I'm strange...I'm just an accident"
To teenage years: "as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free, you are bound to your silent legacy"
To angry young adult: "take a walk inside my shoes, a path I didn't choose, spend the night inside of my skin"
To an emerging realization: "there's no one to hear you might as well scream, they never woke up from the American dream, and they don't understand what they don't see, and they look through you and they look past me..."
To the first real love: "and when you make the choice to believe in your existence, with hello you will know when you find the one"
To an understanding of what you face: "Showers of your crimson blood seep into a nation, calling up a flood of narrow minds who legislate thinly veiled intolerance, bigotry and hate. We all gasp this can't happen here we're all much too civilized where can these monsters hide? But they are knocking on our front door, they're rocking in our cradles, they're preaching in our churches, and eating at our tables..." "10:03 on a Tuesday morning in the fall of an American dream a man is doing what he knows is right on flight 93... Even though he could not marry or teach your children in our schools, because who he wants to love is breaking your God's rules... Can you live with yourself in the land of the free and make him less of a hero than the other three?"
To a belief in what is right: "Marching to their drum with fear standing beside...Cause by cause they fight and one by one they lose...Rip through the wire that screens in my window, throw open the shade that covers my mind, I'm going to touch I've got to believe, the bell tolls for me... I want to testify..."
To the belief in me: "You tried to hold us down, you tried to hold us back, you tried to make us wrong, you tried to make us crack. You wanted to see us cry, you wanted to see us leave, you didn't count on the tide, you didn't count on the pride, you didn't count on me. I am a giant, and you will not make me fall, and you will not make me crawl. I am a giant, and I'm not alone, winds of change have blown, and walls come tumbling down. And I learned from my mistakes, pick myself up off the floor, I have learned just what it takes, now I am stronger than before; and we are standing side by side, we are determined now to win, we've come too far, and we've got the scares, and we are never going back into the shadows again..."
To a spiritual awakening: "Oh, people, c'mon tell me where is your Kingdom of Heaven? Where is your faith? Where do you put your fear? Do you have a price for truth and a price for believing, when heaven is here, heaven is here. My God is love, my God is peace, my God is you, and my God is me"
With Proposition 8 looming like a dark cloud on the horizon, I have to put my faith in the people of California that they will rise up against ignorance, fear, bigotry and hate and make the right choice.
(All quotes are lyrics of Melissa Etheridge)
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thoughts Throughout the Summer
July 31st '08
Reigning Myself In
And so I find myself once more angry at the system for which I work instead of focusing on the task in hand and letting go of the things beyond my control. I get caught up in the mounting stress and frustration of those around me, and I allow it to infect me.
Again I need to real in my boundaries, return my focus to making my immediate surroundings conducive to calm, completing a day's work and allowing the dysfuntional dinosaur to go about it's business. It will do this whether I invest my emotions or not.
I need to return to my daily meditations, I need to exercise and I need to focus on what matters to me in my immediate world. It is going to take great strength of mind and character for me to continue on this path that I have set for myself, without destroying myself in the process.
August 3rd '08
Sadness & Relief
I saved a baby this week, it served to remind me why I do what I do.
The baby had suffered a broken collar bone when she fell from a bed where she had been left while the Mom went to do drugs. Usually the Mom would have been the person that I worked with in a never-ending attempt to turn one more life around - not this time.
That was the saddest baby I had seen in a long time. At one year old she wasn't yet crawling, she did not smile, she made no eye contact and did not respond to attempts to engage her. At least now I can let her out of my mind knowing that she is with a special needs foster Mom and will get the services she requires to address her apparent developmental problems. The Mom? She will continue to use until she's done and then hopefully, she will get help for herself. The help is there, she only has to ask.
August 11th '08
Inspiration People & Other Thoughts
I worked this week to keep myself calm at work, do my job and keep my mind out of politics. For the most part it worked.
On Friday I drove to Barstow for the start of year adjunct faculty meeting. It brought me back to a world that I love, that of teaching. I felt motivated and inspired by the time I left.
I went to the US Open Surfing competition the other weekend and got to meet Jessse Billauer a paraplegic surfer and the founder of the Life Rolls On charitable organization that works for disabled people and includes the "They Will Surf Again" days that enables paraplegics and other disabled people to surf with the help of professional surfers and lifeguards. Jesse is such a super guy and a great inspiration. He's right up there with Kyle Maynard and Christopher Reed. If you have never heard of either Jesse or Kyle I recommend you Google them. Trust me - after reading their stories your aches and pains will seem very minor.
I'm still working on getting my strength back - it's a lot slower than I anticipated but the challenge is good for me. I have a friend who's in training to climb Mt. Whitney - I'm her cheering team! We each climb our own mountains, what I have learned is - be grateful for the opportunity, and grab every opportunity that life offers.
August 23rd '08
The Fragility of Life
I have been pondering my future because I have an opportunity to take a job that I had not previously considered. It calls to me although I'm not sure why. I was given a new lease on life with my surgery earlier this year, and now I have a second opportunity to obtain another new lease on my working life. I think I will take it although many will be both saddened and frustrated by my choice, but I have learned that when opportunity reaches out, take it with both hands. It must have happened for a reason so who am I to ignore it?
Today I was reminded again how fragile life is. A friend of my partner's daughter lost her battle with heart disease - she was too young, it does not seem fair. Again I am reminded of the gift of life that I have, so I need to grasp it with both hands.
I have decided to try something that I have never done nor has ever appealed to me, and that is to go camping. I sold something on e-bay which covered my camping purchases, also purchased on e-bay. So we will go camping next month - should be interesting - watch this space!
Reigning Myself In
And so I find myself once more angry at the system for which I work instead of focusing on the task in hand and letting go of the things beyond my control. I get caught up in the mounting stress and frustration of those around me, and I allow it to infect me.
Again I need to real in my boundaries, return my focus to making my immediate surroundings conducive to calm, completing a day's work and allowing the dysfuntional dinosaur to go about it's business. It will do this whether I invest my emotions or not.
I need to return to my daily meditations, I need to exercise and I need to focus on what matters to me in my immediate world. It is going to take great strength of mind and character for me to continue on this path that I have set for myself, without destroying myself in the process.
August 3rd '08
Sadness & Relief
I saved a baby this week, it served to remind me why I do what I do.
The baby had suffered a broken collar bone when she fell from a bed where she had been left while the Mom went to do drugs. Usually the Mom would have been the person that I worked with in a never-ending attempt to turn one more life around - not this time.
That was the saddest baby I had seen in a long time. At one year old she wasn't yet crawling, she did not smile, she made no eye contact and did not respond to attempts to engage her. At least now I can let her out of my mind knowing that she is with a special needs foster Mom and will get the services she requires to address her apparent developmental problems. The Mom? She will continue to use until she's done and then hopefully, she will get help for herself. The help is there, she only has to ask.
August 11th '08
Inspiration People & Other Thoughts
I worked this week to keep myself calm at work, do my job and keep my mind out of politics. For the most part it worked.
On Friday I drove to Barstow for the start of year adjunct faculty meeting. It brought me back to a world that I love, that of teaching. I felt motivated and inspired by the time I left.
I went to the US Open Surfing competition the other weekend and got to meet Jessse Billauer a paraplegic surfer and the founder of the Life Rolls On charitable organization that works for disabled people and includes the "They Will Surf Again" days that enables paraplegics and other disabled people to surf with the help of professional surfers and lifeguards. Jesse is such a super guy and a great inspiration. He's right up there with Kyle Maynard and Christopher Reed. If you have never heard of either Jesse or Kyle I recommend you Google them. Trust me - after reading their stories your aches and pains will seem very minor.
I'm still working on getting my strength back - it's a lot slower than I anticipated but the challenge is good for me. I have a friend who's in training to climb Mt. Whitney - I'm her cheering team! We each climb our own mountains, what I have learned is - be grateful for the opportunity, and grab every opportunity that life offers.
August 23rd '08
The Fragility of Life
I have been pondering my future because I have an opportunity to take a job that I had not previously considered. It calls to me although I'm not sure why. I was given a new lease on life with my surgery earlier this year, and now I have a second opportunity to obtain another new lease on my working life. I think I will take it although many will be both saddened and frustrated by my choice, but I have learned that when opportunity reaches out, take it with both hands. It must have happened for a reason so who am I to ignore it?
Today I was reminded again how fragile life is. A friend of my partner's daughter lost her battle with heart disease - she was too young, it does not seem fair. Again I am reminded of the gift of life that I have, so I need to grasp it with both hands.
I have decided to try something that I have never done nor has ever appealed to me, and that is to go camping. I sold something on e-bay which covered my camping purchases, also purchased on e-bay. So we will go camping next month - should be interesting - watch this space!
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