Today is Veterans Day. In England this is known as Poppy Day. Everybody buys and wears a poppy as a sign of support. The money goes to the various veterans charities. So many of the younger generation do not even know why Veterans Day is on November 11th or have heard of Flanders. If we do not study history we are doomed to repeat it - we must be very poor students.

President Washington said: "It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliance with any portion of the foreign world.... " We revere Washington but we don't listen either. WWI was supposed to be the war to end all wars.

"Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace. " ~Charles Sumner

As of yesterday there were a total of 4,193 recorded dead in Iraq and 626 in Afghanistan. It has cost close to $600 billion and yet we change the channel on our TV preferring to watch another brainless soap rather than watch the realities of our young men and women dying. Bush has kindly spared us pictures of coffins coming home, or countless damaged bodies in the VA hospitals, or grieving families at the graveside. We are fed a diet of implied terror and yet no reports of anyone caught or tried.

Now we will have a new President, and hope arises such as we have not seen in many years. Let us hope that this current war will also become a faded memory, but we must never forget to honor the memory no matter how faded.

In Flanders Fields
by: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies grow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead.

Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The Times they are A-Changin'

The election has come and gone. A landslide. Could 30 years of Reaganomics finally be over? This country is on it's knees. Basic wages do not even cover the rent for a small apartment, while CEOs pay themselves millions in bonuses The banks have played upon the less aware and sold them interest delayed mortgages which, when the interest kicked in after a few years, they could no longer afford, left them homeless, and wrecked their credit. While hardworking people are destroyed, the banks get bailed out. What is wrong with this picture? Why do we stand by and let it happen? Why are we not rioting in the streets? Have we become so demoralized that we believe we no longer have a voice?

While relieved about the end of the Bush era, and hopeful of change, the cloud over it all for me was the passing of Prop. 8 in California - eliminating the right of gay people to marry. I had faith in the people of California, and I believe it was not misplaced; but when other States' entities interfere - Focus on the Family from Colorado, the Mormon Church from Utah - the balance was tipped. So, this evening I did something that I had not done since my student days of the 70s, I went out on the streets of my hometown and I protested. Hopefully the issue will return to the State Supreme Court to be settled on the side of equalty once again.

"Come gather 'round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown, and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone if your time to you is worth savin', then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone for the times they are a-changin'." Bob Dylan Copyright ©1963; renewed 1991 Special Rider Music.

Sweet Melissa

On the night of Saturday 29th the normally peaceful Griffith Park in Hollywood exploded to the sounds of the awesome Melissa Etheridge rocking her heart out for nearly 3 hours. This lady sings my very soul not to mention, my life.

From childhood: "mama I'm strange...I'm just an accident"

To teenage years: "as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free, you are bound to your silent legacy"

To angry young adult: "take a walk inside my shoes, a path I didn't choose, spend the night inside of my skin"

To an emerging realization: "there's no one to hear you might as well scream, they never woke up from the American dream, and they don't understand what they don't see, and they look through you and they look past me..."

To the first real love: "and when you make the choice to believe in your existence, with hello you will know when you find the one"

To an understanding of what you face: "Showers of your crimson blood seep into a nation, calling up a flood of narrow minds who legislate thinly veiled intolerance, bigotry and hate. We all gasp this can't happen here we're all much too civilized where can these monsters hide? But they are knocking on our front door, they're rocking in our cradles, they're preaching in our churches, and eating at our tables..." "10:03 on a Tuesday morning in the fall of an American dream a man is doing what he knows is right on flight 93... Even though he could not marry or teach your children in our schools, because who he wants to love is breaking your God's rules... Can you live with yourself in the land of the free and make him less of a hero than the other three?"

To a belief in what is right: "Marching to their drum with fear standing beside...Cause by cause they fight and one by one they lose...Rip through the wire that screens in my window, throw open the shade that covers my mind, I'm going to touch I've got to believe, the bell tolls for me... I want to testify..."

To the belief in me: "You tried to hold us down, you tried to hold us back, you tried to make us wrong, you tried to make us crack. You wanted to see us cry, you wanted to see us leave, you didn't count on the tide, you didn't count on the pride, you didn't count on me. I am a giant, and you will not make me fall, and you will not make me crawl. I am a giant, and I'm not alone, winds of change have blown, and walls come tumbling down. And I learned from my mistakes, pick myself up off the floor, I have learned just what it takes, now I am stronger than before; and we are standing side by side, we are determined now to win, we've come too far, and we've got the scares, and we are never going back into the shadows again..."

To a spiritual awakening: "Oh, people, c'mon tell me where is your Kingdom of Heaven? Where is your faith? Where do you put your fear? Do you have a price for truth and a price for believing, when heaven is here, heaven is here. My God is love, my God is peace, my God is you, and my God is me"

With Proposition 8 looming like a dark cloud on the horizon, I have to put my faith in the people of California that they will rise up against ignorance, fear, bigotry and hate and make the right choice.

(All quotes are lyrics of Melissa Etheridge)

Thoughts Throughout the Summer

July 31st '08

Reigning Myself In

And so I find myself once more angry at the system for which I work instead of focusing on the task in hand and letting go of the things beyond my control. I get caught up in the mounting stress and frustration of those around me, and I allow it to infect me.
Again I need to real in my boundaries, return my focus to making my immediate surroundings conducive to calm, completing a day's work and allowing the dysfuntional dinosaur to go about it's business. It will do this whether I invest my emotions or not.
I need to return to my daily meditations, I need to exercise and I need to focus on what matters to me in my immediate world. It is going to take great strength of mind and character for me to continue on this path that I have set for myself, without destroying myself in the process.

August 3rd '08

Sadness & Relief

I saved a baby this week, it served to remind me why I do what I do.
The baby had suffered a broken collar bone when she fell from a bed where she had been left while the Mom went to do drugs. Usually the Mom would have been the person that I worked with in a never-ending attempt to turn one more life around - not this time.
That was the saddest baby I had seen in a long time. At one year old she wasn't yet crawling, she did not smile, she made no eye contact and did not respond to attempts to engage her. At least now I can let her out of my mind knowing that she is with a special needs foster Mom and will get the services she requires to address her apparent developmental problems. The Mom? She will continue to use until she's done and then hopefully, she will get help for herself. The help is there, she only has to ask.

August 11th '08

Inspiration People & Other Thoughts

I worked this week to keep myself calm at work, do my job and keep my mind out of politics. For the most part it worked.

On Friday I drove to Barstow for the start of year adjunct faculty meeting. It brought me back to a world that I love, that of teaching. I felt motivated and inspired by the time I left.

I went to the US Open Surfing competition the other weekend and got to meet Jessse Billauer a paraplegic surfer and the founder of the Life Rolls On charitable organization that works for disabled people and includes the "They Will Surf Again" days that enables paraplegics and other disabled people to surf with the help of professional surfers and lifeguards. Jesse is such a super guy and a great inspiration. He's right up there with Kyle Maynard and Christopher Reed. If you have never heard of either Jesse or Kyle I recommend you Google them. Trust me - after reading their stories your aches and pains will seem very minor.

I'm still working on getting my strength back - it's a lot slower than I anticipated but the challenge is good for me. I have a friend who's in training to climb Mt. Whitney - I'm her cheering team! We each climb our own mountains, what I have learned is - be grateful for the opportunity, and grab every opportunity that life offers.

August 23rd '08

The Fragility of Life

I have been pondering my future because I have an opportunity to take a job that I had not previously considered. It calls to me although I'm not sure why. I was given a new lease on life with my surgery earlier this year, and now I have a second opportunity to obtain another new lease on my working life. I think I will take it although many will be both saddened and frustrated by my choice, but I have learned that when opportunity reaches out, take it with both hands. It must have happened for a reason so who am I to ignore it?

Today I was reminded again how fragile life is. A friend of my partner's daughter lost her battle with heart disease - she was too young, it does not seem fair. Again I am reminded of the gift of life that I have, so I need to grasp it with both hands.

I have decided to try something that I have never done nor has ever appealed to me, and that is to go camping. I sold something on e-bay which covered my camping purchases, also purchased on e-bay. So we will go camping next month - should be interesting - watch this space!

Things I learned in hospital

1) I learned to be grateful that I was asleep before they shaved me.

2) I learned that if you fill someone full of morphine, have a bucket ready when you stand them up for the first time.

3) I learned that it's not a good idea to have a muscle spasm just as the nurse turns away, your screams will scare her.

4) I learned that after 2 days without eating, jello is THE best food in the world.

5) I learned that Doctors make lousy nurses especially when it comes to removing dressings.

6) But most of all I learned that if the only words you remember through the pain and haze are, "No cancer", spend every day that follows in gratitude.

Compassion

"Compassion is the finest weapon and best defence.If you would establish harmony,Compassion must surround you like a fortress." (The Tao Te Ching v.68)

I recently watched the web casts of the Seeds of Compassion conference that was held in Washington State with special guest the Dalai Llama. (www.seedsofcompassion.org) The focus was on raising compassionate children and there was debate as to whether compassion was innate or learned. I am usually of the opinion that most emotions and behaviors are a combination of the nature/nurture theories.

I have never given much thought as to whether we are born compassionate, but I certainly believe that children 'learn' to be cruel. We have all suffered from being teased or bullied in the schoolyard, and most adults accept this as just "typical kids behaviors" and therefore rarely do anything to either protect their child, or teach them how to handle these situations without becoming too stressed out, or validate the child's hurt feelings. We tell them to ignore or "get over it".

In spite of horrendous incidents such as the Columbine shootings, we still fail to make nurturing compassion in our children a priority. So huge "kudos" to the Governor of Washington State for realizing the importance of this issue and hosting such an in-depth conference by bringing some of the greatest minds in the field of child development and psychology together for discussion.

The Dalai Llama, in his keynote address, stated that we needed more women in governing roles (no argument here) because women were more likely to find solutions through talking than fighting, and would be much less willing to send their children to war.

I have spent years dealing with my own pent-up rage that resulted from a compassion-less childhood. Today I am a supremely compassionate person working in a field of caring professionals, but finding the system within which I work one that does not care. Huge cutbacks in funding by the California State Governor have meant that the poorest of the poor will once again be denied the help and support that they need to become functioning members of society. Apparently there is no value in that to the State.

I have a neighbor who has friends in the professional baseball field and he tells me that young talents are often paid sign-up bonuses of $4 million. This must be what we value in our society. Please don't misunderstand me, I enjoy a good game of baseball but there has to be a balance in this world.

Compassion must begin at home - yes - with the children that we are raising if we want things to change for the better in the future, but in making such cutbacks to the already dis-enfranchised will engender despair and rage such as I felt as a child in a compassion-less home. From personal experience I can truly state that this a recipe for disaster.

Poverty Consciousness

Tao Te Ching Verse 19:
“Bind your self-interest and control your ambition;Forget your habits and simplify your affairs.”

My partner and I have reached a stage in our lives where we have finally realized that that we need to unload material “stuff”. We have a room in the house that we call “the dungeon” because everything gets dumped in there. Every time I have considered doing something about it I take one look, get completely overwhelmed and close the door.

Then a friend said, how about just committing to getting rid of just two items per week? It doesn’t matter how long it takes because it will get cleared out eventually, whereas now all movement is stagnant. So, this is what we have been doing, and finding that in fact, we often remove more than two items. We have two other commitments – not to add anything new into the dungeon and if we purchase some new item, we must get rid of something we already have. That way we don’t start acquiring more “stuff”.

Deepak Chopra tells us, “Attachment (to things) comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols.”* In other words if we need things to make us feel good, we might have the big house, the sports car, the private jet, but we will spend all of our energy trying to hold on to these things at the expense of ourselves.

Poverty consciousness is not directly related to the amount of money you have. Rather, it's the relationship to that money or to material possessions. You can live in conditions of poverty without necessarily living in poverty consciousness, which is a state of mind and heart. The, “I don’t have syndrome” is a primary cause of poverty consciousness. Every time we think, feel, act or say we don’t have enough we reinforce in our consciousness that untruth about ourselves.

I call the constant acquiring of more “stuff”, feeding the hole in your soul. It doesn’t matter what you throw in there – houses, cars, money, drugs, sex – none of it will ever be enough. Like an addictive drug we develop a tolerance for possessions and therefore have to have more and more to gain some form of “feeling good”. Until we seek happiness within, we will be miserable.

I’m facing surgery next week – nothing major, but there are always concerns. I feel amazingly calm and I truly believe that this is because I am cultivating a relationship with the Universe instead of one focused entirely on me. I have been meditating daily, working on just trying to still my mind, what I have learned is that the ‘not’ stilling of one’s mind is not a failure, but the daily practice of it is a success. Not having “stuff” is not poverty, realizing that I have everything I need for peace and contentment already within me, is riches indeed.

*(The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success)